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The Singles Lane Is The Fastest In Thredbo

“Today is all about emotions”, Jock said. “You need to get back in touch with your emotions”. We all nodded and made our way to the chairlift. Jock, a Scott in Thredbo for the season, got on first. “The Form Fours lanes are much slower than the Singles one”, I said to that girl standing next to me, immediately wondering : why don’t we all pretend we are singles just to go faster?

Among nature, Tinder adverts took us all the way to the top. “There is more to do in the snow than ski”. Digital is taking over the world, even ski fields. Going down, a girl was talking to her screen while skiing. At one point she almost fell and avoided a kid. Unfazed, she continued on, staring at her screen.

At the bottom, there was a Tinder booth offering assistance in setting up new accounts at a discount. Hordes of twenty and thirty somethings were queuing up, with smiles larger than their beanies, phones in their hands, checking their hair, their lips, their eyes, before their portait was taken. One day they will receive feedback on their appearance, together with cosmetic surgery discounts. Lips and cheeks, 2 for the price of 1, with the promise of meeting someone special.

On my way back up the mountain, I looked at the adverts again, one after the other. “Who doesn’t love a good liftie?” Trees, snow, big skies : forgotten. “Remember, only try it if you can land it”. At the top, I wanted to go to the highest lifted point in Australia, so I headed towards the Karels T-Bar and all of a sudden I realised : there is no Singles lanes ! I sat on the shaking seat and quickly found myself holding the hand of the person next to me. “I love you on the T-Bar”, I said. Luckily, it was my wife.


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